Essay: I Walked Through the Night
Wang Xiao Yu
Source of Pictures
Life is inevitably full of mistakes, just like people sometimes walk at night. Worry and fear are inevitable. In this life, without a dangerous experience, how could one know the loneliness of the dark night? Without stumbling and hardship, how could one know the pain of getting up? I am fortunate that I have experienced all of them and had a deep understanding. When I was young, I made several foolish mistakes. Now, looking back, I realized that at that time, I was so naive. Fortunately, I changed, and finally entered the bright world, becoming a human being.
If counting time, it may have been more than twenty years, at that time I was young, inexperienced in dealing with things, unable to bear criticism, and somewhat arrogant. But after all, I was just a child, and when I really got angry, I was still ashamed of myself and stayed in a quiet place. Moreover, it was at night, and the darkness seemed to always have something hiding behind, observing me, and waiting for an opportunity. I knew that before that night that I had a deep understanding of this. Therefore, I never walked in the dark. Even if I did, I walked while talking, which was very loud, enough to scare them away.
However, that night was unavoidable. I was angry and wanted to take a risk, so I went out at night deliberately.
It was a night with a full moon and a high wind. The wind blew fiercely, and the branches of the trees were whipped, making a whimper. I thought it was exactly what I wanted, the angry wind and the howling ghosts! Come out, all of you!
The prairie was quiet, except for the wind. I started walking, and as I went deeper, I began to think about things, without any sound, only my footsteps. The crickets and wild birds that were noisy during the day were gone. I was surprised. As long as the weather was clear and the moon was shining, these little animals were always lively and noisy, like a musical performance. But that night seemed to not need them, they were already satisfied, the chirping of crickets and the croaking of frogs formed a harmonious tune, I felt sorry for them. But that night was windy and quiet, and they seemed scared and hid. Or they hid somewhere and looked around, trying to figure out if the moon was still shining. I felt anxious and hurried, and the wind blew faster, it seemed to want to admire the ghosts and let them praise me, then together they would attack me and put their sinister plans into action.
I felt a chill down my back, and every hair on my body stood on end. I wished I had eyes on the back of my head, looking at them, to see what they could do to me. But their plan was still in effect, and I was no match for them. I wished I could shed all the tension and fear, and throw away all the prickly hairs, so that my fear would not take root, and their persecution would not succeed.
I shouted louder, and in the vast prairie, I felt like I was howling like a wolf. But I didn't stop, because not far away was a graveyard. Even during the day, it was always dark and gloomy, and it was even more so at night. The wind blew even harder, complementing my shouts, and it seemed even more imposing. I didn't want to go any further, but the only way back to the village was this road, I couldn't stand here and wait for the morning. I cleared my throat to suppress the sound of the wind, and also told the wind that I was a brave person, full of courage, warning them that I was not afraid. Listen, how loud my voice is, if you're scared, don't come out to harm people!
I finally continued on, thinking that home was ahead, through the graveyard, it was my world. I walked very fast, like a gust of wind. I was close, the graveyard was getting closer. I could even see the vague tombs, the blurry tombstones, as the wind roared, it seemed like one was slowly opening, with a flickering light, a skeleton walked out of the dark cave. This made me think of the dead, their ugliness, their ability to summon wind and rain. I might be disemboweled and drained of my blood to supplement their lack of yang energy. I would turn into a ghost and haunt the world.
But I quickly thought of my family, thinking of them lying under the ground, perhaps already friends with ghosts, or appealing to the underworld for revenge. Warning them, these are their people. Thinking about this, I felt a little reassured. I am a relative of ghosts, a friend of demons, they would not harm me, and they still loved me deeply, so there was nothing to fear. My family would definitely protect me, this underworld was their home, and so was mine. When I arrived, it would be their home, and they would obey my commands. Thinking about this, the chill on my back decreased a lot, and the raised hairs lay down.
When I saw it, I approached it, passed through it, they didn't change at all, it was just my own illusion. There were a few loud shouts, and carefully listening, they were just my echoes. Trembling and shaky, it was about to die and revive. I thought that people like me didn't deserve to be targeted by them, so why bother to scare myself? It's fortunate that I finally arrived safely, and I thought the ghosts didn't scare me, they were just watching my show.
People are always like this, always love to live in fear, thinking that everywhere there are ghosts, and everywhere is always a sinister plan. But the wind is always like this, it blows through the world, and it blows through the graveyard. It blows and blows, and it still blows itself. Because it was another night, letting me see this world with a new perspective.
It was another night with a full moon and a high wind. The wind blew fiercely, and the branches of the trees were whipped, making a whimper. I thought it was exactly what I wanted, the angry wind and the howling ghosts! Come out, all of you!
The water pond next to my house was filled with rainwater in autumn, and I went to sit by it to relax. My mother said that I should accompany her to sit there, and we brought a bench. We sat there and listened to the sounds of crickets. That night, my mother said she wanted to sit and relax, and she asked me to accompany her. When we were sitting there, the water in the pond also seemed to understand. I thought the water must have told the moon, because it was floating in the water. The water was clear and the moon was bright, and the moonlight was even gentler, it was so peaceful, who wouldn't feel moved? But I don't know if we gave the moon first, or if the moon gave us first? Or did we give the water first, and the water gave us back? It's just like this, letting me, a person who was afraid of the night, feel its warmth ONG.
In the following days, I regretted it a little. I was too impulsive, and I couldn't bear the ridicule of others, and I couldn't bear any setbacks. In fact, I was timid and guarded against them, and I maintained my face everywhere, that is, so-called dignity, which is something that needs others to give you, if you are a dirty person, you can only ask for a dirty face, and become a shameless person. Turning around, they would still say you were an imp.
Everything should be let go, and people will let it go too. Only by letting go of our hearts can we be tolerant, and everyone can be honest and open, so there will be no malice, no harm. Without them, this is a bright world.
I still walked alone at night, remembering this scene. Under the full moon and high wind, a boy was in the angry wind, he entered the world.
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