When Angry, Don't Speak (Classic)

Especially when facing people we are close to, we are more likely to say hurtful things without thinking.

Although we say a lot of words when angry, most of them are just impulsive words.

Sayers have no intention, listeners have intention. A hurtful word can change a relationship.

Not long ago, I saw a short story.

Master Zhendo argued with his friend about Dao and Zen. They disagreed greatly.

Friend sincerely said to Zhendo: 'If you can't accept other people's opinions, how can you deserve to talk about Buddhism?'

Unexpectedly, Zhendo got angry and said some harsh words to his friend, and he wanted to break off the friendship.

His friend left in disappointment.

Later, Zhendo traveled all over the country, practicing Zen and teaching Buddhism. He gained a lot of cultivation.

However, many people still offered different opinions and even slandered and rejected him.

Zhendo sighed: 'Today is a great opportunity, past events are just like dust.'

Zhendo realized that his friend's words were just sincere advice, and it was not a big deal. His friend did not really target him.

After that, Zhendo regretted saying hurtful words and breaking off the friendship. Their relationship could never be restored.

It's not worth getting angry over small matters. It's not worth saying hurtful words to resolve your immediate anger.

Remember, hurtful words are like a sharp knife.

If you're not careful, it will hurt those who care about you, and pain those who care about you.

Hurtful words are like nails hammered into a wall.

Even if you pull out the nails later, the holes in the wall will not disappear. Just like the scars in your heart will never fade.

Long ago, people always said:

'A small nail can drop a foot; losing a foot will destroy a warhorse; destroying a warhorse will lose a battle; losing a battle will lose a city; losing a city will destroy a country.'

Emotional transmission and influence are far more complex than we imagine.

Anger can be like a bomb, or it can be a source of motivation. The key is your attitude.

Always remember:

When you're angry, don't speak.

People who can control their emotions are undoubtedly strong in life.

02

Maintain Silence When Angry

Friend A Fei and his wife had a good relationship, and they were known as exemplary couples in the circle of friends.

When asked about the secret to their harmonious relationship, A Fei said with a smile:

'Actually, there's no secret. We just follow an agreement.'

'Whenever we argue, we don't immediately scold each other or blame each other. We both first remain silent and do our own things.'

'Until we both calm down, then we talk about it and solve the problem together.'

I curiously asked: 'Why do you need to remain silent when you're angry?'

A Fei said:

'We've found that we can't control our anger. Once we speak, we can't guarantee that the next thing we say will hurt others.'

A Fei's answer is really reasonable.

When we encounter setbacks and are wronged, or when things don't go as we planned, we naturally have negative emotions.

If we just let our anger out without thinking,

Instead, when we're angry, we should first calm ourselves down and think about the problem carefully. Then, we can speak calmly and rationally.

It's a good way to solve problems.

As the saying goes:

'Speaking is instinct, silence is cultivation.'

The most mature way to deal with anger is to remain silent, not to speak hurtful words.

Maintaining silence is not to avoid the problem, but to give yourself time to think and solve the problem better.

Maintaining silence is not to fear the other person, but to maintain the relationship between them and prevent damage to their relationship.

Especially when you're angry, you should remind yourself to remain calm.

It's a great wisdom to remain silent when you're angry.

03

You Can Control Your Emotions To Control Your Life

In this world, no one can guarantee they won't encounter bad people and bad things.

When we're wronged or unhappy, we are naturally angry, but we must also be able to control our emotions.

We should give ourselves time to think about the consequences before saying hurtful words.

Once our anger subsides, we can speak calmly and rationally.

As the saying goes:

'A small nail can drop a foot; losing a foot will destroy a warhorse; destroying a warhorse will lose a battle; losing a battle will lose a city; losing a city will destroy a country.'

Emotional transmission and influence are far more complex than we imagine.

Hurtful words can make people uncomfortable and create misunderstandings between people.