Getting Too Close to Anyone Is a Disaster
Everyone is not an island, and people are interconnected through relationships.
There is intimacy, there is friction, there is beauty, and there are grudges.
Maintaining relationships is an art, and even the best relationships need boundaries and respect.
Life is like a ruler, it must have a measure.
This applies to friends, family, and lovers.
Maintain a distance like clear water among friends.
A gentleman's friendship is like clear water, it's never tiresome, but too much sugar will make your teeth sticky.
A small person's friendship is like sweet honey, but it's easily spoiled.
A glass of clear water is indispensable, even if it seems plain.
True friends are pure, because of their purity, they can endure.
When self-interest mixes in, friendship will change its flavor.
Helping friends is kindness, not helping is basic courtesy, and overly close relationships lead to presumption and thinking it's okay to give without expecting anything in return.
Losing gratitude and always demanding, relationships will only worsen.
Don't interfere in a friend's life, don't gossip about a friend's privacy, leave room for others' opinions, even the closest people need to maintain boundaries.
A sense of boundaries is a sign of maturity.
People who understand boundaries make others feel comfortable and respectable, leaving room for others while not distancing themselves.
This is a person's highest form of cultivation, and a person's greatest virtue.
Maintain a distance like a bowl of soup among relatives.
Too hot, it will burn you, and too cold, it will chill your heart.
Relatives are inherently the closest relationships.
But after growing up, we live independently, and family relationships often become mundane, seeking advantage, avoiding shame, and even the biggest difficulties in life come from family members.
Han Xin's gratitude to his mother for a single meal is still widely told, but Han Xin's wife is rarely mentioned.
Han Xin's wife rarely cooked for Han Xin after he grew up.
For a year, Han Xin lived off his brother's food, and his wife was furious and stopped cooking for him.
Han Xin was angry and went out to earn a living, which later led to the creation of the Lu Ridge Kingdom.
Lu Yao said in 'The Ordinary World':
People's love for each other doesn't depend on whether they are related. Children often see family relationships as beautiful and important in their childhood.
As we grow up, we live independently and realize that family relationships are often mundane, seeking advantage, avoiding shame, and even the biggest difficulties in life come from family members.
Dumi, carry rice.
Don't be too kind to relatives, being too kind will lead to dependence and drag you down, and if you are slightly negligent, they will be resentful.
You cannot help but be overly dependent on family, so it is better to let them depend on themselves.
Each person's path must be their own; asking others to support you for a lifetime is basically a fantasy.
The best way to help someone is to let them stand on their own feet.
Every person's road must be their own. It's unrealistic to expect others to support you forever.
It is better to empower them to become self-reliant than to become a mutual burden.
Maintain a distance like a piece of paper between lovers.
Maintaining a distance is caring for friends; maintaining a distance is respecting family; maintaining a distance is beautiful for lovers.
A person who lives with clarity will always maintain appropriate distances, and distance creates beauty; don't get too close, so that they can cherish each other.
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