Father: Five Years Since Your Departure, Are You Still Well?
Time flies, and Qingming Festival comes again. Thinking of Mr. Jia's father, I still shed tears and miss him deeply. Entering his study, the familiar desk came into view, as if I could see his slender figure again. Holding a book, sipping tea, sitting in the chair in front of the desk, he read quietly. The scene was serene and tranquil, warm and enduring. This feeling was as if her father had never left. The past seemed like yesterday, still vivid…
01. Special Education
Father was a soldier. Although he was a soldier, he was not as stern or taciturn as people imagined; instead, he was witty and open-minded.
In our family, there are four siblings, two older brothers who are obedient and sensible, and I and my sister, the two younger ones, are like two little girls, fighting and playing mischievously. We inevitably often got scolded 'black-listed' by others. If we were scolded by our mother, we would return home and receive a rain of punches; if we were scolded by our father, we wouldn't be beaten, nor would we be scolded. Father used a special educational method: write checks! This was to encourage and correct our mistakes. After completing the check, Father would review it, and if approved, he would paste it on the bedhead, reading it aloud three times a day, carefully reflecting. A week without mistakes, with Father's permission, he could tear it off.
Thus, each time writing a check was like knocking himself down; each time tearing off a check was like making himself stand up again.
Father used this method to cultivate our independent thinking habits; improve our understanding of things; learn to distinguish right from wrong; thus continuously recognize ourselves; correct ourselves!
I spent my entire life with Father writing checks; besides this, I've never experienced the feeling of writing checks!
Father's special educational method allowed our siblings to understand from a young age that one must be self-reflective, self-disciplined, self-respectful, self-reliant, and self-loving!
When I was in junior high school, because of my love of beauty, I wore a long pair of pants in winter. One day after school, I shivered and turned pale, with purple lips. When Father saw this, he was moved and said, 'You are just like a figure of elegance, but you lack warmth. Loving beauty also needs to know that there's a measure.' Do you understand? Quickly put on some clothes and don't catch a cold!'
Father always said this way, when educating us, he often used famous quotes. For example, 'Honest people will suffer small losses, but not big ones; cunning people will not suffer losses, but will suffer big ones.' 'A living person is meant to be a creator, not a consumer.' 'Virtue is the commanding officer of talent! If you use talent, virtue is the best; if you have virtue but no talent, you must abandon it decisively, because the greater the talent, the greater the harm it can cause to society.'
When we encounter setbacks in learning, life, and work, Father always encourages us to say, 'Adversity is always there, life is about striving.'
Father's 'golden sayings' are the most precious spiritual wealth for our siblings' lifelong journey!
03. Old is noble, and respect for the elderly.
Because of his profession, Father and Mother could not see each other in their final days, which became Father's lifelong regret! Therefore, towards elders outside of family, Father always treated them with filial piety to parents.
One day, Mother returned from buying vegetables on the street and brought a ragged, hunchbacked old man with a weathered face. When I asked, I learned that Mother had recognized this old man's family. I invited him to our home to be a guest. After a brief greeting, Father invited the old man and his family into his study. During dinner, the couple left the study with ashamed faces. After dinner, the family said goodbye. Since then, the old man and his family had a much better relationship, and his face gradually showed a smile. The old man's family also became a frequent guest in our home.
I was curious and asked Father and the old man's family what they had said to cause such a big change. Father said:
I told them that you are also parents, and you will also have your old days. If you don't treat your mother well in her children's eyes, then your mother's today will be your tomorrow!
Thus, the couple realized what they needed to do.
04. Parental Love
Father followed his parents' wishes to marry at the age of sixteen; shortly after, he enlisted in the army and became a platoon leader at the troops at the age of nineteen. He was widely recognized as a 'handsome soldier' by the military district. Father, after achieving success in his career, was still a human being, and he also had thoughts of leaving his marriage. When he told his mother, she firmly opposed it. Thus, Father abandoned his original intention of leaving and returned to his family, reconciled with his mother, and resolved the past grievances.
When I was young, Father often worked until late to revise many drafts. All this, Mother would wake up half in the night to cook a bowl of sweet rice for him, or two steamed eggs, fearing that he was hungry. Usually, whatever delicious food was made at home, he would always grab it into Father's bowl. Father said to Mother, 'You eat, you eat, give it to the children to eat. I cannot eat too much or claim too much, it's embarrassing!'
Time flies, and Father's sixtieth birthday arrived. At the dinner table, Father excitedly said, 'This family owes you so much, Mom, you are our family's great hero, you've worked hard all your life, you and the children must treat you well.' When Mother was young, she did not have a formal job because she took care of us, so she did not have a retirement salary, which made her very regretful.
Father said, 'We have you, and you have me! You rest assured, I will manage you for life!'
Hearing Father's words, Mother comforted him greatly. As promised, Father kept his word and fulfilled his original promise!
As people age, big diseases come. Mother had a major stroke and became paralyzed. After a year and a half of diligent treatment, she could basically take care of herself, but her blood pressure was unstable. Therefore, Father had to measure her blood pressure every day and record it in a notebook, adjusting her medication based on the changes. He insisted on measuring her blood pressure for twenty years without interruption. Whenever she had a headache or a cold, Father would treat her as a family doctor, buying medicine for her.
The two of them lived together for sixty years. This may be the most beautiful way to 'hand in hand and grow old together'!
05. The Ballad of Life
Heaven doesn't always bring good or bad luck. Father's left hand gradually lost its function, first suspected it was rheumatoid arthritis, he applied some ointment but didn't improve. Under our repeated requests, we took him to the hospital for a full body examination. A few days later, the test results showed: brain cancer! The loss of the left hand was due to the tumor pressing on the nerves. Brain cancer, I suddenly realized! I didn't believe that such a disease would fall on my father! He was such a good man! The doctor told me not to treat it, just let him go home to spend time with her.
When Father returned home, I ran out to cry for a moment, kneeling in an empty space, tears streaming down my face, letting my grief be fully expressed! Thinking of Father still waiting for me at home, I calmed myself down and returned home. Father asked, 'Should I take medicine?' I told him that the doctor said: 'This is a functional degeneration of the body, there's nothing serious.' Father looked at me and said calmly: 'Oh! But his eyes clearly told me that he had seen everything, I dare not look Father in the eyes.'
As Father's body deteriorated day by day, I couldn't bear it! Although I knew that aging, sickness, and death were natural laws, I still couldn't accept the fact that my father was about to leave us. Father seemed not to be affected by anything, and he joked, 'I'm going to report to Marx, you must Entwicklung take care of her!'
Before his death, Father kept telling us to take care of his mother, and to cherish this life.
When Father passed away on the afternoon of the second day of the New Year, he had finished a bowl of sweet rice. He fed it to him and wiped his body, and then lay him down. At eight o'clock in the evening, Father passed away at the age of 84. From now on, he and his daughter would be separated by heaven and earth forever!
I don't know if there will be another life? If there is, I hope to do Father's daughter again, because this life, I haven't finished doing it!
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