Family Legacy (A Realization)
As the saying goes: If elders lack virtue, the whole family will suffer; if children are not filial, there will be no good fortune; if men lack ambition, the family will decline; if women are not gentle, they will drive wealth away.
Elders should promote family values, parents should demonstrate family values, couples should guide family values, and children should inherit them. Descendants should enjoy the family tradition, and siblings should compete based on family values.
Where there is merit, there is virtue; where there is no merit, there is no virtue; where there is virtue, there is fortune; where there is no virtue, there is no fortune.
The Elder's Way
① The elder is a heavenly star for a family, taking virtue as the root. 'Virtue' refers to taking responsibility for a family's affairs and maintaining harmony.
② The elder is like grey – calm and gentle, speaks little, doesn't gossip about family matters, takes the initiative to foster goodwill, and must ensure the family's well-being.
③ Embrace contentment, enjoy a peaceful life in one's home, and promote family values. Promote family values, praise ancestral virtues, and educate children to understand gratitude, respect, and reciprocation.
④ Don't interfere in others' affairs, and don't worry too much about children. 'Children have their own destiny' – let them manage their own affairs.
⑤ Children's health is largely dependent on the mother, and wisdom depends on the father, and good fortune depends on parents' constant dedication with joyful love.
⑥ Parents are the beginning of all relationships, the balance of yin and yang, yin represents the mother, and yang represents the father. Harmony between yin and yang, and a lack of conflict, allows all things to thrive. When yin and yang are in conflict, it causes mental distress and unhappiness.
⑦ A family should have a leader who can instill virtue in the family.
The Parents' Way
① Respect elders and love children. Use a spirit of gratitude to improve everything, creating harmony within the family.
② Publicly praise the virtues of elders and ancestors, setting an example of filial piety for children, using gratitude for past generations to enlighten future generations.
③ Don't arrange for the elderly to do things – let them do what they enjoy, but always show concern and encourage them to rest.
④ Parents are the origin of all relationships, the balance of yin and yang, yin for the mother, and yang for the father. Harmony between yin and yang, and a lack of conflict, allows all things to thrive. When yin and yang are in conflict, it causes mental distress and unhappiness.
⑤ A child's health is largely dependent on the mother, and wisdom depends on the father, and good fortune depends on parents' constant dedication with joyful love.
⑥ Children should not be controlled; rely on virtuous conduct to influence them. Understand their individual characteristics, help them develop, and nurture their potential.
⑦ Don't resent children, and never punish them, because a family's success or failure is also related to the parents' own character and conduct. Secondly, consider whether your methods of education are inappropriate.
⑧ 'Controlling' means allowing parents to express their nature without criticism, not getting angry or annoyed. Being angry undermines virtue; criticizing undermines morality; and scolding undermines one's dignity.
⑨ A man should be able to hold a family's responsibilities, use reason to lead people, and be trusted by his family.
The Wife's Way
① A woman is the mother of the nation and the wife of a family, the wife of a person.
② Women should be gentle and amiable, creating a harmonious atmosphere within the family.
③ Like water, adapt to the situation and follow the circumstances, not competing with all things, staying in the lowest position, lowering to be under, is to be a woman's virtue.
④ Women should not be overly assertive, not impetuous, not gossipy, and never interfere in men's affairs. They should help men avoid exhaustion.
⑥ A woman's three types are: a domineering wife, a submissive wife, and a wife who knows how to manage her household.
⑦ A woman's virtue is nurtured by her parents, and is passed down to her children.
⑧ A woman's virtues can prevent wealth from being lost, and men's fortunes depend on women.
⑨ A woman should not be controlling, should not be impetuous, should not gossip, and should never interfere in men's affairs. She should help men avoid exhaustion.
The Husband and Wife's Way
① A man should keep his word, one word is one, two is two, and if he promises, he must fulfill it.
② If you don't keep your promise, you lose your dignity.
③ If a man has private intentions and does things contrary to his conscience, he will cause trouble for the whole family, and this is not a good man.
④ 'Strength' means not hitting or scolding people, and not getting angry or annoyed. Not getting angry undermines virtue; criticizing undermines morality; and scolding undermines one's dignity.
⑤ A man has three types: a weak man, a violent man, and a husband.
⑥ A husband should take responsibility for the family, lead by example, and be respected by others.
⑦ A man should settle in the 'three pillars' – stability, morality, and body. 'Stability' refers to not getting angry; 'morality' refers to not having private desires; and 'body' refers to not having bad habits. Anger undermines virtue; criticizing undermines morality; and scolding undermines one's dignity.
⑧ When a husband and wife argue, it's either a violation of the natural order or a violation of the love between parents and children. It is the same as the husband's personal nature and the wife's personal nature.
⑨ A husband should know how to manage his wife, and a wife should respect her husband – this is the basis of a happy family.
A husband's role is to guide his wife, and a wife's role is to support her husband.
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