Finally Realized the Reason for My Low Emotional Intelligence: Only Focusing on My Own Happiness, Ignoring Others' Feelings

I've never really understood what 'emotional intelligence' is all about.

But I do know I have low EQ because I'm not good at verbal communication, I hate socializing, especially eating with people, and I particularly dislike raising glasses for toasts.

Every year, before the formal dinner, the company always held a year-end party, and the leaders would sit together, talking and laughing freely. I couldn't say a word, and my colleagues would toast for the leader. I usually ended up being the last one to raise my glass.

Sometimes, the leader would even toast for me first, and then I'd clumsily raise my glass.

I even find large gatherings for eating and drinking the most boring things.

I'm surprised I've made it this close to retirement.

Because of my hobbies in dance and literature, I often post my opinions online, and some commenters say they want to meet me in Wuhan to drink and chat, but I don't know whether they're sincere or just polite. Anyway, I don't want to spend time on formalities, drinking, and chatting, so I always politely decline.

I have a simple, Westernized diet and don't like to indulge. I eat whatever each person wants, a bowl of noodles or a bread with a cup of hot milk is enough. During workdays, the company's cafeteria provides a buffet lunch, which I happily enjoy.

My wife, on the other hand, values culinary experiences and considers a good meal the greatest pleasure in life. My elderly spouse loves watching food-making TV shows or online videos. Every time she cooks a meal, it takes several hours, or even a whole day, just to have a meal. I think it's a waste of time, but she enjoys it, so we share the expenses.

Don't let my silence fool you, I've always avoided face-to-face interactions, even with my brothers, unless it's something important (like weddings). I'm like a fictional character – I only talk when I have to.

I can say that I belong to the bottom tier, and when I mix with middle-level leaders (and even higher ones, which I rarely see), I must toast for them first. If I can toast for the boss and not get drunk myself, that's considered a good man. But I have a low tolerance for alcohol, so I have to force myself to toast for the leaders, and after the gatherings, I'm sick for days with stomach pain.

I don't make friends because I'm in a lower position and have no value to be exploited by others. I don't need to make friends.

People are equal, but this is just a theory. As the old saying goes: 'Live in the city, no one asks; be wealthy in the mountains, have distant relatives.' You can see that those who sit in the middle, have connections, can get more benefits,

I'm young and impetuous, and I often make mistakes by being outspoken. But as I get older, I've improved a lot.

After summarizing the expert's points, I suddenly realized what 'emotional intelligence' means.

People with high EQ can speak in a way that makes others feel comfortable, and their behavior is pleasant.

When faced with unfriendly words or attacks, a person with high EQ can calmly and intelligently handle the situation, putting the other person in a disadvantageous position and allowing them to back down.

People with low EQ, on the contrary, whether they speak or behave, are not pleasing to others, often awkward and embarrassing, or even humiliating.

It's better to mend a broken sheep than to waste time trying to repair a broken fence. Now I try to restrain myself and make others feel comfortable.

Treat others as roses, and leave them with a fragrance.

“”“”

……

“”