Besides betrayal of emotions, he/she is actually quite good in other aspects.

Author: Ai Wen (Emotional Self-Media Person)

Many people who have experienced emotional betrayal share that they often say this:They are generally quite good in other aspects, but the only thing is that they have been betrayed in love.

This, roughly speaking, is a classic case of 'looking at things from one's own perspective.'

People who say this will, of course, have various evidence to prove it, such as their work or career success, or they are very good to their families and children…

However, if you can look at the problem from a different angle, you might see the other side of the story.

First of all, success in work and career is indeed a 'good thing.' But to what extent does this 'good' help you, and could it actually harm you?

In fact, many people only realize this kind of 'good' because they have achieved some success in their careers, which then creates many temptations and opportunities for betrayal. If they were unsuccessful, they wouldn't have the opportunity to betray their love. In other words, their 'good' in some areas is actually the external cause of their emotional betrayal.

Let's give a rather common example:

An ordinary person earns 100 yuan a month, and they earn 1000 yuan. In this aspect, they are superior to many people, but if you only see this, you might think they are good; if you see that they have given 500 yuan to the third party, you might think, are they really good?

As for being good to their families and children, this is even easier to understand. Do people who betray their love all have to be bad to their families and children?

Perhaps you still haven't understood what this sentence means. Let's put it in a different way: families, children, and you don't have a proportional relationship. They can be bad to you, but it doesn't mean they can't be good to their families and children. Furthermore, they might be good to their families and children not because they want to be good to you, but because they simply want to be good to their families and children.

Therefore, you cannot draw this conclusion:If they are good to their families and children, it necessarily means they are a good person, and they should always be good to you.

Regarding how to define whether a person is a good person or a bad person, there is no absolute standard. From your perspective, if they are the most hurtful person, they might be the worst; but from the third party's perspective, they might be the best person in the world, right?

When looking at whether a person is good or bad, it's not necessary to be overly complex; it simply depends on how they treat themselves. Even if they are good to everyone in the world, but not to you, then they are a bad person.

The most important question is:What do you marry for, and what is the most important thing in marriage and love?

Of course, it's loyalty, and of course, it's emotional responsibility and commitment– Betrayal means they no longer care about the most important part of the marriage relationship, they have lost this sense of responsibility and commitment. How can you still think they are 'good'?

This is a matter of perspective, and perspectives determine whether a marriage can be happy. Only those with correct perspectives can have happy marriages; otherwise, it will only be full of pain.

So why do so many people still have this kind of thinking, and they think that someone who has betrayed their love can still be 'good'?

It's probably a result of some subconscious psychological effects. These subconscious psychological effects include:

Not wanting to deny the other person completely, because denying the other person is equivalent to denying yourself, and denying this relationship entirely.

Finding some reasons to justify staying in the relationship, especially for those who are still married, they may have a stronger awareness of this, you only think the other person is still 'good', then you have enough reason to convince yourself to stay in the marriage and forgive them. If you completely deny the other person or don't allow yourself to come to this conclusion, you might be caught in a contradiction, because you don't want to end the relationship, and you don't want to give up.

Therefore, it is particularly important to remind you:After experiencing betrayal, maintaining objectivity is crucial.

Specifically, a person who has betrayed you emotionally might be responsible and 'beneficial' to you in other aspects; but in terms of love, it's difficult for them to be responsible and committed. Therefore, if you value love, you should abandon your reliance on the relationship in love, and focus on completing your own responsibilities, moreover, you shouldn't expect the other person to 'be good' to you in love. As for whether to continue the marriage, this is irrelevant. Because the composition of marriage is not just emotion, but also many other elements.

Therefore, as long as there are other values that can be preserved, you can continue the marriage without excessive entanglement.