To achieve a happy life, one must associate with gentlemen and discern them from petty people.
People always want to associate with gentlemen because gentlemen don't harm others, and associating with gentlemen often brings rewards, which may be in terms of wisdom or benefits.
However, the world is vast, and there are not only gentlemen but also petty people. It's petty people who are truly terrifying. If you associate with petty people, you'll face endless troubles and significant losses. In the past, some monarchs were seduced by petty people, even losing entire countries. There have been many such cases.
Some people will blindly trust petty people and make mistakes that harm their family and friends. We all hate petty people and love gentlemen, but people's foreheads don't write who is a gentleman and who is a petty person. In fact, our ancestors have long told us that gentlemen and petty people have three distinct characteristics.
First, gentlemen are harmonious while differing, and petty people are harmonious but not compatible.
This means that when gentlemen associate with others, they respect the opinions of others while retaining their own thoughts. Even if the other person is not correct, they won't immediately criticize and refute, but rather understand and tolerate them. Therefore, when gentlemen associate with others, they can stand on their own position while absorbing other people's views.
Petty people are different. They are good at disguising, appearing friendly with others on the surface, but actually approaching people to gain their trust, and then using it to harm others for personal gain. Therefore, petty people's purpose in associating with others is to seek personal gain. They don't care about the outcome, and for petty people, profit is paramount.
Second, gentlemen are restrained and not competitive, and petty people join groups without restraint.
For a gentleman, when treating others, they are always restrained, even when dealing with interests. Gentlemen will not sacrifice their souls or lofty ambitions for petty gains. They value their reputation highly. When a person doesn't seek reasons to fight, it brings a peaceful and distant world. Interests are endless, and people who are too greedy will attract disasters. Gentlemen understand this principle, so they appear calm, which reduces disasters.
Petty people are different. When facing interests, they are easily involved in groups and factions. Once the group becomes stable, they will treat outsiders uniformly. As interests increase, they become more worried and suspicious. In fact, petty people have never trusted anyone, and this distrust always accompanies them. When interests become very abundant, they engage in internal conflict and infighting, which is the meaning of petty people joining groups without restraint.
Third, gentlemen seek from themselves, and petty people seek from others.
When gentlemen face difficulties, they won't seek help from others, but will seek solutions from themselves, either by improving their abilities and knowledge or by striving and breaking through difficulties. Petty people, on the other hand, never trust their own abilities, always relying on others' power or relationships to live a happy life.
When gentlemen encounter setbacks, they reflect on their own mistakes, acknowledging their own shortcomings, and seeking ways to correct them. Petty people, however, will shift the blame to others, never reflecting on their own failures.
After a long time of getting along, you will know what kind of person he is. Gentlemen, when others don't respect them, they don't complain, but find the reasons from themselves. Over time, they become a complete person. Petty people have a small capacity and cannot tolerate even a single word from others. Once everyone recognizes a petty person's true face, they will not associate with him, and the petty person will become angry and impulsive, leading to self-destruction.
